Top cookery program, Celebrity Masterchef, is set to announce its most star-studded line-up of contestants to date, with this year's edition featuring the like of ruff-wearing word-smith, William Shakespeare, shoe-eating superstar, Charlie Chaplin and mono-testicular dictator, Adolf Hitler.
It is the first of these that has caused the greatest sensation, with the bard promising to talk throughout the show in iambic pentameter, the poetic structure used throughout his plays. In return, the company that produces the show will allow him to go back to his peaceful grave in Stratford-upon-Avon.
However, it's not all thrills and cheering in the land of cookery programs with dead poets. The famous writer's scheduled appearance on television is causing widespread controversy, as well. Historian, Joey Spanderwitz is furious that the resurrected wordsmith is appearing on Masterchef instead of a serious historical documentary.
"It is simply outrageous that, with so little known about the bard's life, his first televised appearance will be for little more than arbitrary titillation as oppose to real, important information gathering," sputtered the incensed historian.
Pro-death groups are also purported to be ‘disappointed' with the show's needless use of deceased famous people to bolster its viewing, particularly given that current corpse-resuscitation techniques tend to result in temporary, or even permanent, zombie behavior patterns in those they are used on.
However, despite such objections, the public seem to love the idea, with projected viewing figures for the episode reaching well into the millions.
It seems the public just can't get enough of the living-dead, particularly when they're given frying pans and a set of limited ingredients.
There is no word as yet from the undead civil rights groups that have sprung up around the country since the invention of corpse resuscitation, but it is safe to assume they're reactions will be "knee-jerk zombie liberal" in nature, claims pundit, Thatcher McGrinch talking to a representative of this magazine late last night. In a pub.
In short, we can expect some real fireworks to fly when the undead rights brigade get involved, and we'll be there to cover it!