What a shocker! The latest "Hoarder" to be featured on Sunday night's "Hoarders" is none other than Liz Taylor! Seems like the much married Liz Taylor Hilton Wilding Todd Fisher Burton Burton Warner Fortensky, 8 marriages to her credit, is adding 3 more.

When clean up crews and professional organizers arrived at the Taylor home, buried in the mountains of designer handbags, Hollywood memorabilia, wigs, gowns, empty pizza boxes and, Chinese carry-out containers, were 3 more of Liz's husbands.

Missing person reports had been filed on the 3 men; pizza delivery man, Anthony Donatelli, UPS driver, David Anthony and Chinese "take-out" driver, Henry Woo.

All 3 men seemed no worse for the ordeal; happy to be discovered but, assured the crew that they were looking forward to the "Thai" food they had just ordered and, adding a new member to their little family!

Top cookery program, Celebrity Masterchef, is set to announce its most star-studded line-up of contestants to date, with this year's edition featuring the like of ruff-wearing word-smith, William Shakespeare, shoe-eating superstar, Charlie Chaplin and mono-testicular dictator, Adolf Hitler.

It is the first of these that has caused the greatest sensation, with the bard promising to talk throughout the show in iambic pentameter, the poetic structure used throughout his plays. In return, the company that produces the show will allow him to go back to his peaceful grave in Stratford-upon-Avon.

However, it's not all thrills and cheering in the land of cookery programs with dead poets. The famous writer's scheduled appearance on television is causing widespread controversy, as well. Historian, Joey Spanderwitz is furious that the resurrected wordsmith is appearing on Masterchef instead of a serious historical documentary.

"It is simply outrageous that, with so little known about the bard's life, his first televised appearance will be for little more than arbitrary titillation as oppose to real, important information gathering," sputtered the incensed historian.

Pro-death groups are also purported to be ‘disappointed' with the show's needless use of deceased famous people to bolster its viewing, particularly given that current corpse-resuscitation techniques tend to result in temporary, or even permanent, zombie behavior patterns in those they are used on.

However, despite such objections, the public seem to love the idea, with projected viewing figures for the episode reaching well into the millions.

It seems the public just can't get enough of the living-dead, particularly when they're given frying pans and a set of limited ingredients.

There is no word as yet from the undead civil rights groups that have sprung up around the country since the invention of corpse resuscitation, but it is safe to assume they're reactions will be "knee-jerk zombie liberal" in nature, claims pundit, Thatcher McGrinch talking to a representative of this magazine late last night. In a pub.

In short, we can expect some real fireworks to fly when the undead rights brigade get involved, and we'll be there to cover it!

There have been long queues in front of banks after Banks have decided to make the interest rate minus 10% which means that banks give you money on the loans you get .

Banks have changed their policy from what is called "Cheap Money" to "Profitable Money". People have stopped working and started having fun and spending. One citizen has commented on the new interest rate:

"This is what we have always needed, prosperity not austerity; I don't have to wake up early and I go to bed at dawn; I have got no worries or fears about the future."

Everyone is happy, and gross national product has become zero, but no one cares.

Anthropologists from around the world have gathered in Stockholm, Sweden this week to share and examine their findings about "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" and, "Jersey Shore" cast.

After two seasons on the air, seems like there is indisputable proof that the citizens of this state, New Jersey, are NOT FULLY EVOLVED! From "table flipping" to "fisticuffs," the evidence is clear.

The scientists point to the fact that the "Jersey Shore" and "Housewives" cast, both exhibit a lack of verbal skills and, that combined with their obvious lack of self control help to prove the scientists right about their hypothesis.

Dr. Wisenhimer further states that the unusually low foreheads of some of the cast, gives credence to the conclusion that New Jersey is still home to "Cro-magnon" and "Neanderthal" people.

Iranian president has repeatedly said, "I won't budge one iota on the nuclear issue." Israeli PM has also said, " I won't budge one iota on the settlements issue."

When the Iranian president was asked about the possible sanctions against his country, he said," I don't care one iota" and no one asked the Israeli PM about the impossible sanctions against Israel.

An iota mania is sweeping through the world- people have begun to use it again on a large scale. Some people haven't known such a musical word exists in the English language. In addition to its musicality, it gives a strength of personality and character to its users - it sounds frank, precise and inflexible.

Now, we have iota love poems : "Though you stabbed me in the back with a blunt knife, I will stay faithful to you till the last iota of my life" that has been written by a faithful, betrayed lover, and we have iota domestic violence poems: "I can't live with you one more iota and I intend to buy you a Toyota" that has been written by a wife fed up with her husband. We have iota stories : a friend of mine in a thoughtless moment and after seeing the Iranian president on TV using the "iota", tried to imitate him and use the iota with his nastily domineering boss; he exploded in his boss' face," I can't stand you one more iota"; he was fired and now he is jobless without one iota of money. We have also iota sayings:" An iota in hand is better than two in the bush."

There is also an animal like the squirrel called iota, people in China raise it. I have been to one of these iota farms where I saw bright yellow baby iotas, pretty and lovely, running around their mothers.

Back to politics, when an American official was asked about the Iranian president statement " I won't budge one iota on the nuclear issue", he said, " I totally agree with him; he won't budge one iota because he will budge a thousand iotas"