Bucksport, ME: Tony Tucker, 23, seasoned pizza delivery driver for the town's only Pizza Hut
franchise, repeatedly expressed his tremendous bemusement at the almost incomprehensible stupidity of customer Baron Von Running Bear, a customer whose buffoonery he encountered during a recent shift.
"For a famous 'Austrian-Aztec-American Theoretical Proctologist' he sure is dumber than all
hell." Tucker chortled to his coworkers after returning from a 1 hour, 14 minute round trip in
which his 17 pineapple and extra oregano pies went undelivered. He then went on to do a slaying
impression of Dr. Von Running Bear trying to explain to his friends and colleagues that gathered
for the 426th annual meeting of the Maine chapter of the Association of Serious Scientists that
they would be without dinner because he accidentally gave the address for a gay nightclub instead of Stephen King's house, whose basement was the cite of the prestigious event.
Anonymous sources within the pizzeria claim that Tucker, more than a week since the event,
continues to utter the phrase "Me am dumb doctor, drink much fire water" in a German accent at
least once an hour.