Halftime assistant producer Kirky Patterson shocked authorities by revealing the original SupperBowl halftime rehearsal plans.
"You thought the boob thing was bad," Kirky said consipratorially. "You should have seen what they'd planned originally.
"It's almost too shocking to talk about," he added, seemingly unsure of whether or not to continue.
"You sure you're not wearing a wire?" he asked Cynic Online reporter Clayton Follows.
Promtped to continue, Kirky spilled the beans.
"You see, before the rehearsals, Justin had an emergency operation to undo an operation he'd only recieved a few nights before. MTV was furious. They were no longer going to get the shocking halftime they'd been promising their viewers. And they paid good money for Justin's enhancements to begin with. But then there was inspiration!"
"'Janet's a woman', Saul Patterson, our exec pro tells us. 'We'll just use her breasts. It'll even be more shocking than if Justin showed the ones he used to have.'"
"We can't show a woman's breasts on TV! people were saying. It was okay because Justin's weren't natural, but to show real breasts would be a crime."
"So we fought and we fought and we fought and finally we came to a comprimise, realizing that if we only showed one breast, it would only be a half bad thing. I think people are more pissed we didn't show both of them if you ask me.
"Of course, this could have been entirely worse than seeing Justin's boobs on national TV. You wouldn't believe how close we came to booking Michael. He was the one who was going to get the boobs. He was the one whose breasts you were going to see on TV.
"It's a shame," Kirky added whistfully. "I've always dreamed of seeing Michael with breasts."